[礁石] You Ouaghta Know

向知道我的情況的人說。我承認這兩天我過得不好。胃激烈地在腹腔裡絞扭，說著好噁心的時候就忍不住乾嘔了，喝了點熱豆漿，過不久就吐出來。我差不多空腹了兩天，今天下午才突然好轉，覺得肚子餓了而且要進食。我愛死工作了。

這兩天最可怕的，莫過於「那時候」的空氣一下子回來了。躺在床上，怔怔地望著從沒刷洗過的窗玻璃時，忽然發現那時候的空氣已經包住我了。胃的疼痛、凌亂無力不祥地快步跳著的心臟、深黯的凌晨，口腔中彷彿感受到了紅葡萄酒的澀味微酸地流過，因為喝了可以睡著。

直到眼睛痠疼了才能睡著，身體早已比意識疲累很多，卻要到耗竭最後一滴力氣才能睡著。兩三個小時後，就又醒來了，全身還乾巴巴的。

有人問我還要上班嗎？我說當然要上，我怎麼能自己一個人在房間裡面對這種空氣。當然上班很累，一直在乾嘔，不過也無所謂，因為顏也是胃極差的人，她也在乾嘔著。不會有人特別側目。

羅在中午時見我只買了一個貝果回來啃感到驚訝，呂則在下班時建議我去看個醫生。這樣就夠了。最重要的是，我的人生還非常空白，有非常多的餘裕，有非常多的豐富的可能，所以我一下就復元了。

即使如此，還是想嘶吼一下。有些事，you oughta know.
只是不知道多少人會想到，這裡的you也可以是複數呢。



Alanis Morissette －－You Oughta Know -

I want you to know, that I'm happy for you
I wish nothing but the best for you both
An older version of me
Is she perverted like me?
Would she go down on you in a theater?
Does she speak eloquently?
And would she have your baby?
I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother

'Cause the love that you gave that we made
Wasn't able to make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died, 'til you died?
But you're still alive

And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know

You seem very well, things look peaceful
I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know
Did you forget about me Mr. Duplicity?
I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner
It was a slap in the face, how quickly I was replaced
Are you thinking of me when you fuck her

'Cause the joke that you made in the bed, that was me
And I'm not going to fade
As soon as you close your eyes, and you know it
And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back
I hope you feel it ...can you feel it?